Day 11: Give thanks to someone that deserves it

I knew who I would thank today on the evening of December 24th, 2019. We were in Canada visiting my brother, and Gerdy, my sister in law’s mom, had just given me a present that was under the tree. It said to Olivia from Gerdy. I was surprised and happy. She made a beautiful cross stitch bunny for Olivia and then Apolline got an actual bunny that looked a lot like it as a present. It is beautiful (picture below) and I know it must have taken Gerdy ages to finish. Of course I’m thankful for that, but that’s not what I want to thank her for.

I was never meant to live so far away from my family. I should be able to go to my mom’s house for lunch every Sunday and for the girls to grow up close to her cousins. They should be able to grow up with the same awesome relationship I had with my uncles, with theirs. It’s not fair that we see each other once or twice a year if we are lucky and we have to squeeze a lifetime of experiences and love in a few days. I love them and I know they love me, but there’s a lot of things that can only happen when people see each other regularly. It will be easy for Eloise and Apolline to know about Olivia without having to one day sit down and explain things to them. We say goodnight to her after praying, we have her picture on our nightstand and every 19 we take flowers to her bench. There’s a lot of information that comes from daily interactions. My nephews don’t have that and as kids, their memory isn’t great yet.

That evening when we were all opening up a few presents and the boys were jumping and screaming people’s names and giving presents. Gerdy gave me the greatest gift when all of a sudden I heard “this one is for Olivia”. Yes, the bunny is beautiful, but the chance for my oldest nephew to ask who Olivia is and for me to have the chance to remind them that their cousin existed was the best moment. I don’t think my brother and sister in law have had many chances to bring up Olivia naturally into a conversation with the boys. So when I was given that opportunity, I couldn’t believe it. Gerdy gave the gift of having Olivia there in an actual tangible way. I answered “she was your first cousin, remember Olivia, my baby that died?” or something along those lines. Hunter and Dexter seem to actually remember and they smiled and said: ok! and went back to more presents.

They sent me a video after Olivia died saying that they were sorry she died and went to heaven and then Dex went on a tangent about her going to space. I love that video. They came to visit us that summer in 2016, as they were all supposed to come for Olivia’s baptism. They all saw me cry, they all gave me the best hugs and they all painted and lit up candles that we sent to her in heaven. After that, we all went back to our lives and they, I can imagine, put that somewhere in the back of their minds as they don’t have any regular interaction with us to remember… and then Gerdy’s present came around!

I have now decided that I always want one present for Olivia under the tree at Christmas. Yes, all of our family members have an ornament for her, but kids only see presents! This is the best way that I can assure all my nephews from both mine and Pierre’s side, can have one day a year where they naturally remember who Olivia is.

THANK YOU GERDY, YOU ARE AMAZING!