Capture Your Grief - Day 23. Sounds, Seasons + Scents

I've said this before and I will say it again: I love that I have things that make me feel closer to my Chiquita and I love that I find them everywhere. But I hate that I have that, I don't want reminders that she existed, I want sleepless nights and arguments with Pierre about dirty diapers...

On the sounds front I have our Olivia song, the one that Pierre played to her and the one that was playing when she was born, Claude de Bussy's Claire de Lune. I feel nostalgic but insanely close to her when I hear that song and I allow myself every now and then to enjoy it. On the other hand, Pierre feels sad when he hears it because he misses those moments with Olivia so much and he was going to be THE musical influence on her life. Unfortunately for her, I had Bieber's latest hits on my playlist when I was pregnant, so there are a few of his songs that remind me of our time together. Sorry for the bad music Chiquita!

On the sounds that I wish I could hear (besides anything from Olivia), there is the greeting that Pierre had with Olivia... Whenever he would start a conversation with her he would say: Oliviaaaa, c'est Papa! - My heart melted with love each time... I miss that sound the most.

The sunshine brings me closer to Olivia, regardless of the season, but as she was born at the beginning of summer, clearly the most beautiful days are Olivia days!

Olivia had her own scent and we have smelled her here and there when walking around. The first time we went out for lunch with my mom, our table was literally in a capsule of Olivia smell and it was AMAZING! She smelled like something orangy and perfect. Pierre tells me all the time that I smell like Olivia, mostly my face or neck... I wish I could smell myself...

I asked Pierre to pick a picture for this post... This is in my family's house in Italy, where everything is amazing.